


12 days of Christmas

by amlago



Series: Mad geniuses and fluffy tigers [6]
Category: Calvin & Hobbes, Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Christmas Fluff, Gen, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-29
Updated: 2016-12-29
Packaged: 2018-09-13 03:21:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 2,435
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9104434
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/amlago/pseuds/amlago
Summary: 12 gifts Calvin gives for Christmas, and what he recieves in return.





	1. Chapter 1

On the first day of Christmas Deadpool received a pink glittery box with a unicorn on full of glitter and sparkles. He screamed like a little girl out of joy, and spent the next month filling the world with glitter. Glittering dead bodies, Wolverine's claws, Xavier's head and Captain America's shield was some of his victims.

\---

In return the mercenary gave Calvin a platypus that he somehow had managed to turn blue. The note said it was called the blue bird of happiness, or Beebee. Beebee was soon happily living in the lab and terrorizing everybody that comes near him. Tony managed, after a couple of months, to convince Calvin that Beebee would be happier in a zoo. Mostly because he was tired of it suddenly attacking his feet after it somehow once again managed to break out of Calvin's lab. Tony was certain that the evil animal somehow had picked up some of Deadpool's habits. So the blue platypus became a resident at the nearest zoo, where it continued to happily cause chaos. Especially when it became a father and his offspring were in all the colors of the rainbow.


	2. Chapter 2

On the second day of Christmas Coulson received a neon green Taser. It had three setting, Ouch, Double Ouch and Crispy. He thanked Calvin with a bland smile and continued to do his paperwork. It wasn't until two months later he really started to appreciate the gift when a wannabe supervillain summoned a herd of something. They were big, stupid and smelled bad. Calvin immediately dubbed them trolls over the coms, ignoring the fact that they also had tails, horns and we're sparsely covered in fur. They also seemed to be immune to most of the Avengers weapons, at least until Coulson tried the third setting. After that it didn't take long before the herds of trolls were lying on the ground twitching.  
"It's like on YouTube, where you can see someone tipping cows over," Tony remarks. "They're too stupid to stand up again."  
\---  
Coulson sends Calvin a thank you fruit basket and a can of tuna for Hobbes.


	3. Chapter 3

On the third day of Christmas Thor got a chocolate replica of Mjölner, filled with chocolate syrup. It was even the same size as his real hammer. It was gone within the hour and for the first time in his life the thunder god experienced a sugar high. And then Thor generously shared his happy feelings with the rest of New York. SHIELD managed to subdue him before he got arrested.  
\---  
The next time Thor comes back from Valhalla he has a sword with him. A very big sword. It's even a little taller than Calvin, which doesn't stop him from trying to wield it. It's quickly discovered that, yes Calvin can indeed wield a sword bigger than himself. At least if he does it by taking a firm hold of it and then turning really quickly in circles. Luckily everyone manages to duck when he loses his grip and the sword buries itself in the wall.  
"I dub thee Excalibur," Calvin tells the sword with a manic grin.  
Tony starts telling everyone that asks about the sword sticking out of the wall, that it's a modern art piece.


	4. Chapter 4

On the fourth day of Christmas Oden was given a pair of fluffy socks with kittens on them by Thor, who explained it was from a young Midgardian youth. It was a note attached to the gift where it said that socks were apparently what bearded old men in power positions wanted. It was addressed to the supreme mugwump.  
"This is from the young Midgardian that Loki has befriended, isn't it?" The queen asked with a small smile. "We must make sure that we'll send an appropriate gift back." She ignored the way her husband frowned in displeasure.

  
\---

 

Calvin received a box filled with Asgardian delicacies and an invitation to visit. Apparently the All Mother wanted to meet the friend of her youngest son. The note also said that Loki was expected to visit at the same time. When Loki read the note he smirked when the thought of the chaos Calvin and Hobbes would bring with them when they visited.


	5. Chapter 5

The fifth day of Christmas Tony's lab is invaded by two armies of Daleks. Most of them goes up to his knees but there's two slightly larger and four smaller. In true Ironman spirit the Daleks are either gold or red. In the beginning they can only say exterminate and make sad dying noises when a Dalek from the other side manages to hit them. But over the first week they learn to say both surrender and enemy. The fourth word they learn is sparkly which they start calling Tony. Tony spends a lot of time watching the two armies fight each other, which they can do for a long time since they only die for fifteen minutes a time. The two larger Daleks spends most their time following Tony around, which is why the next five words they learn is swearword.

It takes almost two week before he learns what the four smallest Daleks are for. Suddenly the fighting stops and every Dalek speeds out of the lab, or at least goes as fast they can which isn't very fast at all. Tony is still trying to decide if he should give them an upgrade or not. Curious he follows them and is just in time to see them rescuing one of the small one from where it had fallen down a step. As soon it's been rescued and checked over for damage the fight starts again. Tony ignores that and instead follows the small not as it wheels away.

He's not certain if he should be surprised or impressed when it disappears into an air duct.

"Jarvis? Do we have Daleks in the air ducts?"

"Yes sir. They seem to be mapping the tower and its occupants."

Tony gets a suspicious feeling.

"Do they have name for the rest of us?"

"Yes sir," Jarvis sounds slightly amused and Tony becomes even more suspicious.

"What do they call Calvin?"

"They call him the supreme overlord."

"That's not fair," he can't stop himself from pouting. "How come I'm sparkly and he gets to be supreme overlord?"

"I couldn't say sir."

"I can tell that you're secretly laughing at me."

"I would never laugh at you in secret sir."

 

\---

Tony's first idea was to buy Calvin an island. This was stopped by Pepper, who told him that he wasn't allowed to create his own country. Finally he settled on giving Calvin the chance to travel in a real spaceship, in space. He hadn't gotten the approval for visiting a space station, but he managed to get Calvin, and Hobbes, a seat on a space shuttle.


	6. Chapter 6

On the sixth day of Christmas Dr Doom was sitting in his lair, making plans of world domination, when one of his minions arrived with that mail. One particular colorful package caught his eye and he quickly tore it open. Inside was a Doombot plushy. Dr Doom was speechless for the first time in a very long time. When he reaches out to pick it up he almost drops it when the small plushy makes a sound similar to how his real Doombot sounds.

"Dr Doom must do something nice to whoever sent this."

 

\---

 

Dr Doom proved that the actually had a sense of humor when he sent a small robot as a thank you. The robot took one look at Calvin and gave a sloppy salute.

"Gir, reporting for duty!" It then saw the TV. "Weee!"

Gir also took to following Steve around from time to time, making the super soldier rescue it or helping it when it fell down or got stuck. The only time it proved malicious destructive was when the fantastic four was visiting. Gir also cackled manically when they were around. But mostly it was docile, even though it managed to shred Fury's leather coat. Calvin made it a green dog costume after that incident.


	7. Chapter 7

On the seventh day of Christmas Fury woke up in a retreat. Since this wasn't where he had fallen asleep, he was understandingly upset. He became even more enraged when he found out that he was in a monastery and there were no phone lines, internet or even electricity. It took him a week before he managed to return to SHIELD, and the small smile on Coulson face told him that the other was fully aware of where he had been.

 

\---

 

Fury sent Calvin an email telling him that if he did anything like that again he would be sent to jail. The original email had had much more profanity and threat, but Coulson made sure to read it before it was sent.


	8. Chapter 8

On the eight day of Christmas Dr Strange was gifted the whole story of Harry Potter, he also received five chocolate frogs that jumped when he opened the package. Calvin had finally managed to create the hopping candy. They were still a prototype, but they were edible and most of them jumped. It takes four month more, but then everyone can buy their own chocolate frog. Calvin isn't aware, but Stark Industries makes sure he has the patent on how to make moving candy. Just like he isn't aware of all the other patent he has.

 

\---

"It's a Dragonball!" Calvin holds the glowing ball closer and tries to see how many stars there is in it. "We need to find the other ones and then make a wish."

"Does this mean that you're planning on learning martial art?" Hobbes asks and snags the ball so he can easier see it.

"No," Calvin slumps slightly before brightening again. "Do you think that Loki or Bucky would be interested in coming with us?"

"I'm sure Loki would be delighted to come with us, and I can convince Bucky."

"I thought I told you to stop stalking Bucky."

Hobbes just gives him a cat smile and Calvin decides to drop it for now.

"Do you think Loki can make us a flying cloud?"

"Perhaps, you should ask him," Hobbes yawns and curls around the glowing ball. He purrs softly as the heat emitting from the ball lulls him to sleep.


	9. Chapter 9

On the ninth day of Christmas Loki got a package containing a lava lamp and the book How to take over the world. The note wished him happy Midvinterblot and an invitation to come over and play Risk. Loki smirked and then disappeared in a flash of green.

 

\---

 

There were cookies everywhere. That was the first thing the Avengers notices when they were called down to the lobby of Stark tower. There was also a banner hanging in the air proclaiming 'Have a cookie and join the dark side'.

"Well," Tony says eyeing the green and gold banner. "Going by the colors I would take a guess that our somewhat friendly trickster god has been by. And he's either feeling the Christmas spirit or he's recruiting."

"With these cookies I would say recruiting," Bruce takes another bite and hums.

"Jarvis, where is Calvin?"

"Young master Calvin is in his lab sir."

"So he hasn't been told of the mountain of cookies that's in the lobby?"

"I wouldn't know. But since he has his own pile of cookies, I don't think he cares that much."

"His own pile?"

"Yes, approximately half an hour ago Loki appeared in his lab and filled it with cookies and pastries. I believe that these are the one he wasn't interested in."

"Is Loki still here?"

"Yes, they appear to be playing some kind of board game."

"Huh, well. Free cookies for everyone?"


	10. Chapter 10

On the tenth day of Christmas Bucky found a Falabella in his living room. Since the only person he knew that could break in without him noticing was Calvin he didn't panic. It also helped that the small horse had a note attached to its tail. Luckily the horse came with food, brushes and a harness. The assassin and the horse observed each other for a while before the horse started eating a carrot.

The smart thing to do would be to leave the horse and move to a new location. Hopefully someplace where he wouldn't be found so easily. Bucky makes the mistake to look at the horse again, it even comes with its own carry-on bag. It's bright blue with Twinkies written on it. He sighs and realizes that he now is the owner of a minihorse named Twinkies.

 

\---

 

Tony looked at the giftwrapped Hydra minions that were lying unconscious in the lobby. The huge red ribbon was an especially nice touch. He really must ask Calvin why someone sent him Hydra minions as a Christmas present.


	11. Chapter 11

On the eleventh day of Christmas Dummy gets a makeover. Afterwards he happily rolls out of the lab in search of Tony. Tony and the rest of the Avengers aren't certain what to think when Dummy arrives in the kitchen. The bot is red and gold and happily twirls around to show of the colors. Clint almost suffocates on his cereals when he sees the bot and is only saved by Natasha's quick intervention. Tony on the other hand breaks out in a huge smile and offers his hand to a high five.

"Wow! You look great Dummy. I dig the color scheme."

Dummy makes a happy noise and rolls away to find someone else to get praised by.

 

\---

 

Dummy made smoothies for Calvin until Tony put a stop to it, afraid that the bot would poison his friend. The last straw was when the latest smoothie was purple, he knew for a fact that he didn't have anything edible that color. Calvin on the other hand knew better than to drink the smoothies and just used them for experimentations.


	12. Chapter 12

On the twelfth day of Christmas Hobbes gets his annually check up to make sure that he still was in prime condition. He endures that Calvin checks him over to make sure there is no tears but puts his foot down when it came to washing. He does not like the washing Machin. Luckily Calvin has manages to build a really small Jacuzzi. Hobbes proves that cats can in fact like bathing when he tries it out.

 

\---

 

Hobbes promise Calvin that he will stay for another year, and make sure that his human has enough adventure to be happy. It might me a curse for some, but Calvin has always enjoyed living in interesting times, and with Hobbes he can be sure to do so.


End file.
